Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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