don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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