My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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