Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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