I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
