I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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