omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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