We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
