I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
