I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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