It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
