Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
