love makes seman taste better
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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