Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
