They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
