so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
