Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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