I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
