woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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