I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
