She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
