I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Found your dick twin last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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