he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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