This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
