Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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