I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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