I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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