He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
