what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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