Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
