I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
