I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You work out of a Hotel?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
