im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
