TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
