This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize