shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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