she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
