Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
