This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
