She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His hands were made for my vagina.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
