I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
