My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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