That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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