I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
