I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
