You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
