You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
