Plan B is the new Plan A
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
