she woke up with a sticky ear
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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