dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
