Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
