just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
