Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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