i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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