My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
