So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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