tell your sister to shave her snatch
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
