Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
