Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
