what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
