So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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