i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
