Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is Oprah even human
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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