return my video game
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
