he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
